Obviously, right now, life is not all fun and games for me. I suppose that life is never really fun and games, but sometimes it is at least enjoyable. As of this moment, I am at odds with the world and things just don't seem right, but someday, everything will be better. I will move on and life will be more tolerable.

Last night, I went to bed with a terrible headache and I could not find my class ring. Throughout the night I woke up several times, each time from a nightmare of different sorts. Now, I cannot recall what they were, but I clearly remember the feeling of distress and anguish when waking up from them. Finally, at 6 o'clock, my alarm went off and i pulled myself out of bed for another day...

I got dressed faster than I ever have before in my life sheerly because I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. I proceeded to sluggishly make my way into the school once my dad dropped me off and sit down next to Genea like I do almost every other morning. Then, also according to some sort of unsaid schedule, she handed me the carton of orange juice that she got for breakfast. We discussed the cruelty of relationships and how we are definitely screwed over when it comes to love. All this before the first bell had even rung.

First period was boring as usual. We're talking about varying maladies and the anatomy. Now I know how to say I have a headache (J'ai mal a la tete) which will come in very handy seeing as how I almost always have a headache, for which I am always taking Excedrin. I went down to the news studio in the media center at 8 o'clock for the morning announcements. I will be director next year, taking over from Michael. I think it has kind of been an unsaid thing that I would take over when I was a senior.

Afterwards, I walked with Callie down to Childhood Development. Upon the discovery that Mrs. Davenport was not there, my table proceeded to talk through the whole class period about my career in babysitting. I was asked about everything from changing diapers to how much money I earn.

Third period came and went very quickly. Mrs. Radebe gave us another pointless lab to do (at least it was better than the lab yesterday where she gave us some ingredients and told us to just mix them up however we wanted to). Genea and I, kleptomaniacs that we are could not resist stealing more of her markers while her back was turned. As usual, the sense of despair I get from thinking about John showed up because of talking to Genea, but that cannot be helped as they are friends and I just want to act normal, so no more wigging out when people say his name.

The feeling of despair followed me to fourth period where I discovered that a sub was filling in for Mrs. Schreder. Then, on top of the work that she had already given me, Mrs. Schreder gave us all a whole lot of stupid assignments and busywork. As if I wasn't busy enough. So now, here I sit in fourth period (Modern World History) being bored on the computer and telling you about my day as it has gone thus far.

Later on, I have madrigal auditions, so I have to stay late after school. Tomorrow, I hope to go home on the bus with Genea.

Still, I really don't find any happiness in any of this. Even though technically things are going well for me, I just don't find any of it truly satisfying.